Operation Beach Bucks part 2

You didn't ask for it, but here it is anyway - our first update!  Yay!

The first week has ended, and already I've reached a very important conclusion.  I will be broke by July.  No kidding!  The way my kids are putting in extra effort and being recognized for the good things they are doing encourages them to do more good things (i.e., things they ought to be doing anyway) which results in them earning mucho dinero mas rapido (sorry if that is in the wrong order, I'm a bit rusty on my español).  My son is earning 50¢ every time he tries a new food, and he has decided that trying new foods is not all that bad.  So far he has tried scrambled eggs, barbecue sauce, chicken nuggets, Cincinnati chilighetti, and fresh pineapple (which was his idea, in the produce section by the way - as long as he didn't have to eat "those pokey things").  My daughter could earn that much as well, but she is a much less-picky eater already, so there are not that many "new" foods for her to choose from.  Either way, they are consistently earning at least one dollar each day, and with approximately 150 more days they can earn Beach Bucks before tallying up their dizzying amounts of money, I could be out well over $300!  That ain't chump change in this house.

After having this epiphany two days ago, whilst taking our kids on a much deserved outing to see "The Nut Job," I had a second epiphany.  I can use the Beach Bucks like tokens that the kids have to trade in if they want to engage in certain activities while on vacation.  A short list of activities that we ordinarily engage in, as well as a few extra special treats thrown in, was easy to mentally compose:

1. SnoBalls
2. The Shake Shop
3. Smugglers Cove Adventure Golf
4. Egmont Key ferry from Ft. De Soto
5. Dolphin Quest on Boca Ciega Bay from John's Pass Marina

For the less expensive things that we always do at least once, the token amount will be small - maybe $10 worth of Beach Bucks for a small SnoBall or milkshake.  For bigger things the price will be more like $50 worth of Beach Bucks.  That may seem steep, but, hey, they are going to have Bucks to spare.  I'm only going to reserve $20 that they can exchange dollar-for-dollar and spend on whatever souvenir they want.  We will likely souvenir hunt at John's Pass, or if we are lucky enough to get to visit Tarpon Springs again they can spend it there.

Additionally, I may make them work harder each month to earn the coveted Beach Bucks.  For example, instead of getting 10¢ each time they clear their dishes from the table, they will get 10¢ for clearing dishes after every meal for one entire day.  If it is getting to school on time, it may be two days in a row to earn 25¢.  On second thought I may keep that one the way it is!  We don't want any tardies.

So, what format am I using?  Well, you're in luck because I am going to share my Beach Bucks chart and money.  I printed one chart and slid it into a page protector, which I taped to the wall at kid-eye-level.  Each day I use a dry erase marker to check off what they have accomplished so they can see what they are earning.  I also use a STAR stick, which I mentioned in Operation Beach Bucks.  This is because my daughter's school uses this as a behavior/classroom management tool.  I painted a paint stirrer and colored clothespins for each kid.  That way it is a constant visual reminder of how they are behaving.  Most of the time I make them move their pins so it (hopefully) makes them think about what they did that was good or not-so-good.

Beach Bucks envelopes

For the envelopes, I used what I had on hand - #10 (business size).  I simply taped one piece of each value of Beach Bucks to the front using clear packing tape.

STAR stick, start every day on GREEN

Each day you start out on GREEN.  If my kids behave they get to move up a color.  If they misbehave they move down a color.  It is not a static stick - in other words they don't get stuck on a color.  If they make it to red and then do something wonderful (or even mediocre if it is good behavior), they move back up.  If they are on purple and misbehave, they move down to blue.  If they are perfectly behaved all day (yeah, right), they get to move up to the star.  I used basic red, yellow, blue, and purple acrylic craft paint from WalMart.  The star is gold glitter glue on a silver background.  The black space is no-man's-land basically.  It is either used for nothing, or if my kids are being horrible and are on red and still misbehaving, I move them to black - which they can NOT get off of unless they exhibit some exceptional behavior.  I have been using this for a month or so now, and only once has one of them been on black.  Then again, only once have they made it to the star.  There have been plenty of days where they stay on green, though, and this momma is thrilled with an all-green day!

Please keep in mind this is only a suggestion.  You will need to tailor it to fit your lifestyle and expectations of your own children.  I printed five copies of the money so I could be sure to have enough to last for a while.  When I run out of the smaller Bucks, I will trade them in for the larger ones.  I'm not sure if you can edit the documents using the same fonts I did - mine were from a font program (Cosmi Print Perfect Fonts), and the style is called JI-Drapey.

Word Document:
Beach Bucks Pricing List

Beach Bucks Money 

PDF:
Beach Bucks Pricing List
Beach Bucks Money

Always Striving for Perfection...

...at the sake of making progress.  Why is it so hard to be satisfied with progress toward a goal?  Why do I always want perfection or nothing?  It isn't just perfection from my kids, husband, family.  It is perfection that I expect from myself in certain areas.  Housework, not so much, but definitely other areas of my life.  I expect myself to be a perfect parent (as if one exists above God), and I fail to recognize my triumphs at small parenting tasks.  That is my goal for the rest of this year.  Call it an almost-middle-of-the-year-resolution if you will.

I resolve to give myself credit for the progress I make and not to hold myself to a standard of unattainable perfection.

I finally broke down and bought a copy of 1-2-3 Magic (Phelan), so I can begin to use the counting and reward system.  It worked when I tried it briefly after the birth of my son when I felt my daughter's behavior was spiraling out of control.  It has just been in the last couple of weeks that I have realized my kids are not the problem.  I am the problem.  Wow! that is hard to admit.  I am the problem.  It certainly doesn't feel good to say that. 

I have realized that I am a very controlling person, or I try to be.  Apparently I feel so out of control with my own life that I try to control everything else.  I do not adapt well to changing a horse midstream.  I am not flexible.  It is hard to be an effective parent when you aren't flexible.  I have to be the one in charge of trip planning and making schedules.  I have tried to put my kids on schedules several times, but I have lost my follow-through.  I used to be very goal oriented and able to attain any goal I put my mind to.  I have become someone who does things in theory, reality be darned.  I hate that about myself!

So, here is my plan (ha! maybe I can stick with this one). 

1. I am going to use positive reinforcement not only with my kids but also with myself.  I am going to print out a monthly calendar.  On that calendar, I am going to color the days:  Green (good), Yellow (middling), Red (bad).  This is going to be according to two things, so I might have to split the days.  I am going to keep track of my own attitude, but I am also going to keep track of my kids' behavior.  Time outs are going to be recorded alongside my outbursts.  Yelling does no one any good, and I already try to avoid spanking because it really does no one any good.  I have been praying every night that God will help me to be strong enough to be an effective parent who has more good days than bad.  If I can increase my own good days, I am sure my kids' good days will increase by association.  Bad moods are very contagious, just as a jolly disposition and smiling face are contagious, just as a person who is laughing for no reason often incites those around to join in the laughing while asking, "what are we laughing at?"
2. I am going to make a list of Stop behaviors (to count) and Start behaviors (to reward) to edge my kids toward the attitudes and behaviors I want them to possess.  I am going to use those lists to limit my own actions as well: if it isn't on the list (and isn't an emergency situation) it isn't going to get a response from me (oh boy! that is going to be near impossible).
3. I am going to set realistic goals for when I want a behavior to be extinct or habit, and when we have reached those goals we are going to celebrate (though I likely won't tell the kids why). On the road to extinction and habit, I am going to celebrate small milestones - more good days than bad, two in a row of no yelling or time outs, and other small things.
4. I am going to share my PROGRESS toward being a good parent and my STRUGGLE with wanting perfection.

Think I can do it?  Any advice on how you've done it?  Leave me your comments!  I'm always eager to learn from seasoned vets :)