Lent

I've grown up hearing about Lent but never really understanding what it is.  We are Baptists, and as such we don't participate in Lent.  As I've matured, Lent has held more appeal.  It is about sacrificing something, typically a luxury, for the six-week observance period of Lent as a form of penitence, reflection, and drawing closer to God.  Jesus spent 40 days fasting in the desert, during which time Satan tried to tempt Jesus.  Jesus' 40 days of fasting in the desert are symbolized by the 40 days of Lent.

Lent 2014 began on Ash Wednesday (March 5 - yesterday) and goes through Thursday, April 17 (the day before Good Friday).  I did not realize that Sundays are not typically counted as part of Lent.

In years past I have had a difficult time deciding what to give up for Lent.  So much of a difficult time that I ended up saying, "Forget the whole thing, I'm not Catholic."  This year something just clicked for me.  I had a friend giving up Facebook, which I thought extremely admirable, though not likely something I would be able to abstain from for an entire 40 consecutive days.  I had another friend ask me for suggestions:  refined sugar, bread, caffeine, chocolate.  I have already sacrificed a LOT of foodstuff since September, when I started Weight Watchers so I could watch my weight creep slowly down instead of steadily up like it had been prone to do my entire life unless I starve myself and exercise frenetically.  I didn't really feel like that was an option for me.  I don't smoke or drink, so I couldn't give that up.  

I wasn't so much praying for an answer as just pondering it while washing dishes when I felt a lightbulb hovering over my head.  Call it an "aha moment," an epiphany, a subliminal conflict resolution, a smack in the face, or a "still, small voice" speaking what I needed to hear (that's what I'm going with).  It was an "Oh!  I could do that!" feeling that I had after I heard those words in my heart.  They weren't in my head, they were in my heart.  This thing I am giving up is going to have a much larger impact on my life, my kids, my husband, every person I come in contact with.  It is so very hard, and I think that is part of why the challenge was given to me.  I have tried giving up this particular thing before, and it has always either backfired in that those around me picked up the bad habit in its absence from me, or it has lasted a few days and then come back with a vengeful, make-up-for-lost-time presence.  

Today is only day 2, and already I have struggled several times.  Yesterday was easy, today has been challenging, tomorrow will be worse I'm sure.  However, I will not allow this to be a failed first observance of Lent.  My hope and prayer is that by the end of the six weeks I will have forgotten about this bad habit, and the new habits that form in its stead will begin to heal the hurt caused by this bad habit.  As a personal preference I am not going to divulge what I am giving up for Lent - I don't want any positive or negative commentary, I don't want a betting pool on how long it will last.  I want to see if it makes enough of an impact that someone else in my close circle can look at me and say, "Hey, when did you stop..." or, "Wow!  You don't...anymore!"  Check in with me April 17, and I will reveal what I gave up and how it has changed my life.  I already noticed minute changes happening yesterday.  I can't begin to imagine what the next month will bring.